Reflection - Coping skills explored

I have developed natural coping skills to help me get through things in my life that I find draining or hard.  An example of this may be a time when I have jumped into my actor self to pretend I wasn’t bothered by something.  A time that I remember doing this is: 

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Did it work? Why or why not?

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I have in the past developed relationships that weren’t really good for me, but I chose to be in them because it served me at the time. An example of this would be: 

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I now realize that that relationship was helping me cope with my feelings – so while it wasn’t the best for me long term, I now see that it did serve a purpose and I used the relationship to cope with a deeper need or feeling I had.  I can expand on this here:

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Often we sabotage ourselves due to feelings of unworthiness, guilt or shame over situations we have not yet let go.  Some sabotaging examples may be over eating, overspending, drinking too much, procrastinating, or avoiding activities completely.  It may be something more overt such as wanting to be the center of attention in a crowd, being sarcastic as that makes us feel temporarily ‘better than’ those we are with.  Here are a couple of examples that I have used my precious energy to sabotage my own goodness:

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I now forgive myself for all of those experiences as I was truly doing the best I can. With this greater awareness, I now feel empowered to be different.  

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When we can’t figure out how to make ourselves feel good inside, we try to get validated by having other people make us feel good.  Perhaps if someone else notices us, we will suddenly feel better.  This is a short-term fix and can never actually happen – as there is no external validation that replaces how we feel about ourselves.  

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The whole world could love me, but if I don’t love myself it won’t make a bit of difference.How have I searched for external validation in my life?

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